My mum was like Google...............(a personal blog post)
Yep! Thats me giving my mum rabbit ears (circa 1986)For me, my mum was like Google.
Its true and not in the way that 'all mums know best', she really did know a lot of stuff. She was university educated, street smart, pragmatic and always had an honest answer to any dilemma.
I used to call her for the simplest thing.
When I realised at 30 years of age that I didn't know how long to boil an egg to make it just right for little soldiers (sad, I know), or when I needed to know how to cool down my food safely so I didn't poison my family with leftovers? What size picture hook should I buy? Where, when or if I needed to put water in my car? How long to cook a sausage or a roast? How to treat my daughters febrile convulsions (thank god she was there!)
She knew everything or could find the answer.
Her answers were almost always scientific, as she was a scientist, but that just made me trust her even more. When I asked her about God and who 'she' was, mum answered me with a long but practical response that was the perfect compromise between Darwinism and Faith, but still kept my childish ideals of angels and heaven in tact. The full story is for another blog post one day.
My mum just passed away, at age 63. Ironically, her brain was the first part of her body to fail her. What will I do without her?
Well the answer to that, for me, is simple. (very very hard to face and emotional, but still simple) I will remember that she has left an amazing legacy. 4 children, 11 grandchildren, life saving medical research, many of my lifes lessons and the way I view this world come from her.
I will pass on to my young daughters, that will never get the chance to know their amazing Grandma, all the things she taught me. I will keep my brain working and I will look in the mirror and see her smile, her nose, her chin, her frizzy ridiculous hair, her hands and yes…….….her awful, very wide and boney feet (thanks mum).
I will hear her voice in my head, encouraging me, letting me make mistakes but always the voice of reason. I will try to be that way too.
They don't know it but my Mum and Dad are the reasons I am a photographer. They took photos and kept everyone of them. They are now film and slides and grainy old prints but I have them all. I can see my face and that of my kids in the faces of those that came before us. My mum is gone but I have 1000 photos of her to keep close when I need to see her face or show my kids.
The inspiration for what I do is always there in the red storage box in my wardrobe.
These are just some of the important things my most loved mumma taught me……………….
- You should always expect the best in your life, even though it is true that you won't always get it. If you aim high, you will always achieve greater heights than those that expect to fail.
- You can have and do anything you want, just not all at once. So make a list and tick it off as you go.
- Your kids are a reflection of you and will love you even if they have cause not to. Raising them is your most important job so you should try not to stuff it up!
- Being poor or unemployed or stressed is crappy. She was all of these things at some stage, but you are the only person that can change your circumstance. So don't whinge if you don't do something, because its up to you.
- Never be limited by what others think of you. Have faith that you 'can' as long as you believe it in your heart.
- Mum is really always right.
- Illness and death are not the end. Your life's legacy lives on when you're gone, so make it count.
- Everyone is made of water, carbon and a few other chemicals but we are basically all the same. Race, religion, skin or hair colour make no difference in the end. We are all the same.
I miss you mum. I will miss you everyday.
Frankie Patterson
13th January 1949 - 9th September 2012
Forever in my heart. xo
